Webster’s defines the word victim as “one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent.” Given this definition, we are all victims at one time or another. Sometimes we’re the victim of others, sometimes the victim of circumstance, and sometimes the victim of our own self-pity.
It’s natural and healthy to feel sorry for ourselves when bad or undesirable things happen…for a while. This is a normal part of the grieving process, but eventually we need to let go of the “victim card” so that we can begin to heal. This, like many things in life, is a choice. Often times we make our choices based on instinct, and for some the instinctual response is to cling to the “woe is me” response as long as possible. It comes down to telling ourselves “Yes, this bad thing happened; it’s not fair, I don’t like it, but I’ve got to accept it.”
Consider the recent tornadoes that ravaged communities in many states across the Midwest. These storms left a path of destruction and devastation that ruined homes, destroyed schools, and, sadly, ended lives. The people who died in these storms were victims, no doubt about it. Others were injured, bereaved, and traumatized by the tornadoes but they are in all actuality survivors. To survive, again according to Webster's, is "to remain alive or in existence: live on" and "to continue to function or prosper."
What storms have wreaked havoc in your life? The emotional damage you have endured may feel insurmountable, but beginning today stop being a victim by making the choice to live on as a survivor.
