The decorations are packed and some of the new toys have already been forgotten. The holiday season is officially over, at least until the stores haul the tinsel out again in October. With the holidays fading, many of us are turning our attention to making a fresh start in the New Year. How will we improve ourselves over the coming weeks and months, so that by next New Year’s we’ll be somehow better than we are right now? Maybe the goal is to eat better and exercise more, to think more positively, or to curse less (or maybe to curse more, take your pick!). As long as your goals are in reason, you can accomplish change in your life but it is important to be honest with yourself and to acknowledge what is driving your pursuit for change.
The problem with New Year’s resolutions is that many people make them because they feel it’s something they should do. For instance, we’re bombard by media messages telling us we need to work out because the calendar says it’s January. The truth is the start of the New Year is a poor incentive to change your life. It may be a convenient time to start working on your goals, but those goals should be something you work toward because you want to, not because you feel you “should” or “have to.”
Psychologists agree people tend to be the most successful when their motivation is intrinsically based, meaning one is working toward a goal because it is personally meaningful, not because one wants to gain external rewards or to avoid punishment. For example, swearing less because you’ll have to put money in a “swear jar” for using foul language is extrinsic motivation; swearing less because it’s become important to you to clean up your language regardless of external consequences is intrinsic motivation. Basing your decision to start work on a New Year’s resolution should be intrinsically based, and you’ll find your motivation by examining your attitude regarding the goal as it is revealed by your thoughts (“I want to lose weight and feel better; I’m ready to start dieting and exercising” is an example of intrinsically rich soil whereas “It’s another year, so I should try to lose weight again” is rooted in a bed of extrinsic rocks—and we all know which will yield the best crops).
The bottom line here is to “know thyself”…know your motivations and potential obstacles. Your efforts to change anything that is within your control will be strengthened by first changing your thinking. If you are beginning work on a New Year’s resolution, now is the easy part. The prospect of pursuing new goals can be an exciting and powerful motivating force, but this “newness” is usually short lived. As the New Year gives way to “just another year,” the work that goes into pursuing goals starts to feel more and more like a chore. This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, and again it’s your thinking that is critical in overcoming this obstacle. Focus your attention on how you are feeling or how it will feel as you realize your goal. If your motivation is indeed intrinsic, then maintaining your drive is entirely up to you. When next January 1st arrives, you’ll be a better person than you were the year before, and you’ll have successfully committed to change for all the right reasons.
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