Mental Health Monday - Projectile Thinking (Part IV)

Over the course of the last few weeks, “Sound Advice” has focused on the Freudian theory of defense mechanisms, defined here as an individual’s attempt to psychologically protect him or herself from emotional hurt. These mechanisms come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and they can be adaptive or maladaptive, mature or neurotic. Today we conclude this look at defense mechanisms by considering a personal favorite: projection.

Everyone uses projection every day. It can be positive or negative as we transfer our own “stuff” onto others. Perhaps most commonly, insecurities we have about ourselves are affixed to other people via the perceptions we have about them.  Say, for example, you are not happy with your physical appearance for whatever reason and you “take it out” on other people by being overly critical of their appearance in your thoughts. Or imagine you have a small problem with lying. Rather than taking ownership of your dishonesty you pass it off on others, as in, “Whatever. Like he ever tells the truth!”

As mentioned, projection also has a good side. Kind, well-adjusted people tend to readily see traits of kindness and positive adjustment in other people consistently. However, the dark side of projection is problematic on a couple of levels: first and foremost, bad projection is based on a skewed perception of reality (which is rarely psychologically healthy)—if you’re seeing the nastiness you feel about yourself in other people wherever you look, it’s really time to do something about that nastiness. Get a self-help book. Write in your journal about it. See a therapist.

The other problem with bad projection is that it easily interferes with our interpersonal relationships. Essentially it comes down to admitting, “It’s not you, it’s me,” but this can be very hard to do—especially when defenses are strong. To stop projecting and to start accepting requires one to step back and become more self-aware. If you find yourself having negative thoughts about others—whether it’s your spouse, your spouse’s ex, or perfect strangers—ask if the thoughts are fair, what purpose they might serve, and consider if thinking negatively about others might be less about them and  all about you.