Mental Health Monday - Overcoming Adversity (Part III)

Life, as it turns out, isn’t always easy. Whether the hardships we encounter are due to our own choices, random chance, or predestination, sometimes life just plain sucks. Philosophically, the problems we encounter make sense--if we consider the world as a classroom, there are going to be tests. Grade schoolers don’t get to spend all day in recess and students who party too much in college tend to fail; life can be fun but ultimately we are here to learn and learning can be extremely challenging at times.

We may not choose our difficulties, but we do get to decide how we respond. Yesterday, you probably heard, was the 10^th anniversary of the terrorist attacks of 9/11. I’m still amazed by the heroes of that day, the people who chose to run into burning buildings that were about to crumble, the people who chose to fight back and crash United 93 into a field in Pennsylvania before it could reach its target in Washington, the people who spent months shifting through the rubble which was no doubt a smoldering pile of carcinogens. Where do people find the strength and courage to do these things?

This month Sound Advice is focusing on defense mechanisms, the ways in which individuals attempt to protect themselves from emotional hurt. As noted in previous posts, most of the Freudian mechanisms are believed to be neurotic and unhealthy, but some are quite positive. The primary healthy or mature Freudian defense mechanism is sublimation, the redirection of negative experiences into something good, creative, or productive. Sublimation is making lemonade when given lemons. Examples include journaling about painful events, writing poetry or making art, or giving of oneself for the good of others.

Consider Camp Haze, a one week all-expense paid summer camp specifically created for children who lost a loved one at the World Trade Center. Janice and Chuck Hazelcorn founded the camp after their son Scott died on 9/11. Scott loved children and dreamed of leaving his job at Cantor Fitzgerald to work with kids. When Scott died, his parents were able to channel their despair and no doubt anger into a positive force that lead to the creation of Camp Haze. Now they provide an annual summer refuge for the children of September 11^th, a service they perform in the memory and honor of their son.

The Hazelcorns found meaning in their suffering in the same way we can all find meaning in life: through serving others. Perhaps such service is the ultimate example of sublimation. Every day there are opportunities to put the needs of others before our own, and we don’t have to wait for tragedy to strike to transform our troubles into triumphs.