“My 7-year-old son is afraid of the water, so I signed him up for swimming lessons to help him conquer his fear. When I told him about the lessons, he had a meltdown and cried that he would drown if I made him go. What should I do?”
You were wise to enroll your son in swimming lessons to begin with, so I’d stay the course and take him to the pool as planned. Sure he’s scared, but how else is he going to get past this fear? Tell him you would like him to give the lessons a try. Who knows--he may end up really enjoying swimming once he gets used to being in the pool. You might take him to a swimming pool before the lessons begin to give him more exposure to the water. Have him start by walking in the shallow end and slowly work his way into deeper water. If he has a “meltdown” during this process, remain calm and coach him that he’s safe and doing great. Have him close his eyes, take some deep breaths, and use visualization—a technique in which an individual replaces anxiety-producing thoughts (i.e. “I’m going to drown!”) with a mental picture of him or herself participating in the feared activity successfully. Your son could imagine himself floating safely in the water, or winning a swim meet. Whatever relaxes him and gets his mind away from his negative, self-defeating thinking.
If your son tries the lessons but then insists that he is too scared, you’ll need to walk the fine line of coaxing him without pushing him into doing something he really doesn’t want to do. If he says he can’t (or won’t) go through with the lessons, thank him for his efforts and tell him you’ll sign him up again next year so he can try, try again.
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