“A few days ago I accidentally walked in on my son pleasuring himself to one of my ‘Victoria’s Secret’ catalogs. I apologized and exited quickly. Now things are awkward between us and I don’t know what to say to him. Also, I’m concerned because he’s only 10—isn’t that too young?”
As much as you might dread it, it sounds like it’s time to have the obligatory rite-of-passage talk about the “birds and the bees” with your son. Statistically, he may be a bit young for masturbation since most boys begin to do so with the surge of testosterone that accompanies puberty, but your boy may be an “early bloomer,” or he may just be curious, or both. Either way, it’s probably best to break the awkwardness of the situation by taking this opportunity to talk with your son openly about sex.
You could tell your son that his self-exploration is natural and nothing to be ashamed of (if that is what you believe). As the joke goes, approximately 95% of males masturbate and the other five percent lie about it! This would also be a good time to set some ground rules, such as restricting the behavior to his room with the door closed or while he’s in the shower. You might ask him to be sure to clean up after himself and promise to knock before entering his room from now on.
Ask your son what questions he has about sex. He may be too embarrassed to ask at this point, but at least you will have laid some important ground work by showing him you’re approachable about the topic and willing to field his questions without “wigging out.” On the other hand, your son may go ahead and ask you what he wants to know. The most important aspect is for you to model that he can ask you about sex without being criticized or reprimanded for his natural curiosity.
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