Mental Health Monday - "You are Your Solution"

In the new movie Bridesmaids, Kristen Wiig plays Annie, a single, down-on-her-luck, thirty-something who suffers a series of setbacks in her career, love life, and relationship with her best friend. As the movie progresses, Annie clearly feels sorrier and sorrier for herself. She becomes increasingly mopey, to the point which one of her fellow bridesmaids confronts her, saying (among other things): “I don't associate with people who blame the world for their problems. You are your problem. You are also your solution.”

Throughout much of the movie, Annie exhibits what psychologists call an external locus of control. People with this disposition are often passive; from their perspective, things happen to them and they believe they have little (if any) ability to alter their circumstances. Whether the situation they find themselves in is good or bad, an individual with an external locus of control will believe luck, fate, God, or the universe brought their fortune or misfortune to them. Note that this style of attribution can easily create feelings of helplessness, which may lead to depression.

The alternative is an internal locus of control, wherein people recognize that they do make their reality…to varying degrees. True, everyone has things that are beyond their control happen to them, but everyone also has the ability to choose how they will respond to the obstacles they face in life. When stuff hits the fan, it's okay and perfectly natural to give yourself some “mope time,” but a little goes a long way. As Annie’s friend tells her in Bridesmaids, you are your solution. In other words, take personal responsibility for picking yourself up and doing whatever you can to move forward. Or, sit passively blaming your problems on the stock market or a political party or the price of rice in China. Just don’t hold your breath while you wait on the world to change.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr