Mental Health Monday - "The Hurried Child"

Kids these days…one moment they’re in diapers just learning to crawl, then, in what seems the blink of an eye, they’re in school, soccer, pee wee, touch football, dance, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, marching band, and so much more. Time flies with a schedule as jam-packed as the average American kid’s. Is it any wonder they grow up so fast?

School is obviously a positive force in a child’s development, and a few carefully chosen extra-curricular activities are also important for helping kids discover their interests and build social skills. On the one hand, we as adults don’t want our kids spending all of their free time as couch potatoes, watching T.V. and playing video games. On the other hand, some developmental psychologists argue, the opposite end of the activity-level spectrum is also unhealthy: piling too much on a child’s plate can (in a sense) end up robbing them of their childhood.

In his book “The Hurried Child: Growing up Too Fast Too Soon” (2001: Perseus Publishing), developmental theorist David Elkind advocated for a “less is more” approach, particularly with pre-school and younger school-age children. He said children’s lives are way too organized, and too jam-packed, leaving them with not enough time to play, imagine, and follow their own interests. Schedules and supervision have, in Western culture, replaced spontaneity and freedom.

Take a good look at your child’s schedule. Is it go, go, go? Does your child seem overloaded, burned out, or rushed? Has sitting down together to enjoy a meal at your house become the exception rather than the norm? Then it’s time to re-prioritize. Talk with your child about which activities are favorites and which can be cut. Remember, you’re the adult and you have the power of veto! Consider limiting your young kids to one extra-curricular at a time. This doesn’t mean your child needs more time sitting on the couch staring blankly at Cartoon Network. It does mean, as Elkind suggested, that kids need more time to play, explore, and to just be kids.