"I consider myself a chronic worrier, and I could really use some advice or suggestions about how to deal with my fear of the unknown."
Worry exists as a means of self-preservation. When we sense danger, our old friend the “fight or flight” response is activated, physically preparing the body to protect itself or, as conditions warrant, to get the heck out of Dodge. Maybe it’s due to genetics or previous life experiences or a nasty combination of the two, but some people are simply more susceptible to over-interpreting or misinterpreting situations in their lives through a lens clouded by worry and fear. You may be one of those people; you may even meet diagnostic criteria for “Generalized Anxiety Disorder,” a condition characterized by the predominant symptoms of chronic and excessive worry.
There are many techniques you can engage in to combat anxiety. I’ll go over some of them, including exercise and deep breathing, in a post this Friday about the “granddaddy” of worry and fear: panic attacks. Please check back for those tips, but in today’s post I want to focus instead on the philosophical “big picture.”
There is one school of thought that holds all anxiety is rooted in the fear of death. I think there is some truth to this notion, but I also believe this statement is more accurate when “death” is interpreted as a symbolic representation of loss. This could mean loss of one’s own life, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of innocence, etc. The list goes on and on, because throughout the span of life we will face loss. We will face it repeatedly, and it will hurt, at times tremendously. Anxiety comes into play because loss (including the possibility of loss) poses an enormous threat to our psychological comfort and safety. Recall from the first paragraph that worry, as a component of anxiety, is a response to danger (real or imagined) designed to promote self-preservation (decrease chances of loss) through activation of “fight or flight.”
But here’s the thing: at the end of the day, we can neither fight nor flee from loss (yes, we can work hard to keep a job or stop a foreclosure, but those are examples of working to stop loss at the micro/specific level. Remember this particular blog entry is focused on the“big picture”). As mentioned, losing what we cherish is a key element of the human experience; some even go so far as to say that loss defines the human experience and gives life meaning. I think this is true to the extent that loss is a part of love. Logically, if we had no love then loss would be a moot point.
On the other hand, love—according to many, from poets to Popes, is never ending. “All you need is love,” sing the Beatles. “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” writes Alfred, Lord Tennyson. “There is no fear in love,” proclaims the sign outside a business near my home. We have medication to treat anxiety and helpful techniques to combat its effects, all of which have their proper place. But to truly overcome worry and fear of the unknown, I recommend making a choice each day to focus on gratitude for what, or whom, you have in your life that you love. The alternative is to spend your energy worrying about the day that will eventually come in which loss will occur.
Choose love as the ultimate antidote for anxiety. It really does conquer all.
Disclaimer: Although the advice contained in this Web site frequently makes mention of diagnostic criteria and treatment options, it is not intended to replace the opinion of a qualified mental health professional who could directly and more specifically address the issues and concerns at hand; nor is the advice contained herein offered as substitution for psychotherapy or other professional mental health services. Individuals with mental health concerns are advised to seek treatment in person through a licensed professional. The author of the content on this Web site, Bryan J. Hall, LMHC, makes no guarantees regarding the advice offered and reminds readers to use personal discretion when deciding what, if any, advice or suggestions to accept and implement.
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