Everyone gets angry from time to time. The key is learning to recognize when anger is getting the best of us, and then to implement some effective techniques to stop anger before it boils over.
One useful strategy is to decompress through relaxation. When you feel anger coming on, take a big breath, inhaling deeply through your nose. You should feel your lungs fill with air. While you’re slowly exhaling through the mouth, mentally repeat a calming phrase to yourself such as “relax” or “I can get through this.” You can also try imagining a pleasant scene, like a sunny day at the beach.
Another strategy to manage anger is to remove yourself from a situation when possible. Take a break from whatever it is that’s bothering you, but don’t avoid the matter altogether. Ask yourself why the source of your anger has so much power over you. Is it really worth it?
Remember, your anger is your responsibility. You can blame it on other people, your genetic makeup, the weather, or the rising price of gas. There will always be something to “make” you mad, if you choose to allow yourself to be mad. This is a critical point about anger management: anger comes and goes, washing over us like waves. Little can be done to control anger itself (the emotion), but plenty can be done behaviorally to control the expression of anger, including the techniques of deep breathing, visualization, and time out described above.
The next time you’re angry, realize you are having a natural human response, but hold yourself accountable to handling anger appropriately and responsibly.
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