“My sister created a Facebook account for her 10-year-old daughter. The little girl has pictures of herself in scantily clad clothes and looks much older than she is actually. I've tried to reason with her and let her know how unsafe this is and she refuses to do anything about it. How can I help my niece?”
Facebook regulations state users must be at least at least 13 years of age, and Facebook requests on its privacy policy page that individuals who have information about children under the age of 13 with accounts tell Facebook about such infractions (http://www.facebook.com/policy.php). It’s up to you whether you want to report your niece; given that you’ve gotten nowhere communicating your concerns to your sister it would certainly be understandable (and admirable, I think) for you to tip off the powers-that-be at Facebook.
Keep in mind, though, that doing so is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. I’m not sure what’s worse: the fact that your sister allows her daughter to post pictures of herself to the Internet in which she’s scantily clad, or the fact that your sister allows your niece to dress in this way (and take pictures of herself in this manner) to begin with. Six of one, half-dozen of another perhaps...but a Facebook account at the age of 10 sounds like it’s just the tip of the iceberg; symbolic of a little girl who’s growing up faster than need be and a mother who stands back or even actively encourages her daughter to act like she’s much older than her true age.
You don’t sound like you’re ready to stand back and watch this happen without intervening further. Since your sister doesn’t seem to get it, maybe it’s time to talk with your niece directly—but don’t stop at just verbally communicating your concerns. Get permission from your sister to spend some quality time with your niece: have her over for a night or even a weekend and communicate your values to her by example. In other words, be a positive role model and show her women don’t need to be dressed in skimpy clothing to be accepted. Show her that there’s nothing wrong with being 10 years old and there’s no need to act like something you’re not. Show her you care, and, with time, maybe her mom will start to care, too.
Disclaimer: Although the advice contained in this Web site frequently makes mention of diagnostic criteria and treatment options, it is not intended to replace the opinion of a qualified mental health professional who could directly and more specifically address the issues and concerns at hand; nor is the advice contained herein offered as substitution for psychotherapy or other professional mental health services. Individuals with mental health concerns are advised to seek treatment in person through a licensed professional. The author of the content on this Web site, Bryan J. Hall, LMHC, makes no guarantees regarding the advice offered and reminds readers to use personal discretion when deciding what, if any, advice or suggestions to accept and implement.
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